Osareti, Susan and I used to have
long talks during lunch breaks about how time was moving fast and how we wanted
to settle down before 30! I had been single for about 2 years, Susan had been
dating for a few years. Osareti had been recently engaged and we were very
excited and happy for her! Thank God one of us was off the shelf and out of
stock!
It was one of those long work
weeks where a TGIF was in order. Some of our colleagues had rallied round to
make a hangout happen somewhere on the Island. Osareti lived far and Susan
couldn’t make it. I lived close to the island so I decided I was going to stand
in for our trio. I invited a neutral girlfriend- Binta to tag along. You know
how we girls like to have one girlfriend to gist about the night with.
At about 1 am most of our
colleagues who also lived on the mainland were ready to run home to my
amazement and considering they shared cars it was difficult for some to leave
and the others stay back. We exchanged our good byes but myself and my
girlfriend (thank God invited her) decided we would stay a bit longer. Home was
15 minutes away!
We ordered a bottle of red wine
and enjoyed the ambience and just watching people engage in different
conversations and nightlife activities. It was pee time and you know how hard
it is to separate women from the rest room. I had to wait my turn as there was
traffic (as usual) in the rest room. Then a tall, slender, lady walks up to me
and say ‘Hi, my brother says he likes you’. I give her this unsurprised but
blank friendly look. I ask her if she’s his spokesman and suggest that he man
up and do his talking by himself!
I return to my table and begin to
download my ordeal to Binta who had waited almost forever for me to return in
amusement. Then we get interrupted by a
hunk. Binta excuses us to have a conversation. Apparently someone’s sister had
delivered the message. We chat for a bit about ourselves and what we do and
then exchanged contacts. *Sounds like some typical night out for an average lady
right……..*
You know there should be follow
up when guy meets lady of interest! Yes Mr Hunk followed up for a date but I
really didn’t have time and wasn’t quite interested in pursuing it any further
than over the phone conversations. Months passed and Mr Hunk’s follow up began
to dwindle and stopped after a while.
One weekend I get remembered
again and decide I would go on a date with Mr Hunk. Grab some food and drinks,
soft music, cool ambience and just acquaint each other a little bit more. But alas! We end up at his boss’ birthday. No
bigger than the living room. Family and co-workers. Not what I had in mind but I went with the
flow. After this I called it a night to his disappointment (as there was little
bonding but oh well he had his chance)That was the last time we saw me. Work
and other things had me occupied.
I just came out of a work
strategy meeting some months after, went to my desk to resume work and lo and
behold Mr Hunk is there standing right in front of me. Out of the blues! (How
did he find me? Did he remember where I said I worked? What was he doing in my office? Too many
questions) He then says ‘You! You are
so hard to see! Call me when you get to the island’ I was completely surprised!
After about an hour Susan comes to me requesting I accompany her go see her
boyfriend who had stopped by the office to say hello (Like I said, we always
had girl talks on moving forward in our relationships and settling down before
our biological clocks stopped ticking. ) We were all going to have lunch as per
another friend on the way to being taken off the shelf.
We strolled down the stairs,
about 70 steps at the time with no elevator. Eating a proper lunch as a 9-5
worker was difficult. It was the same thing over and over again. As we
approached the exit I received the utmost shock! Standing there and waiting for
us was Mr Hunk! Mr Hunk was Susan’s Hunk! What was going on here? I didn’t know
when I hit the brakes, did an about turn and went right back upstairs! Was I in
a dream? We had spent so much time hoping for someone who was not ready. What
were the odds that I would have met Susan’s hunk without her introduction? What
if I had gone the extra mile with him during his follow up sessions? Did he not know where she worked? Or did it
not occur to him we were in the same building? A myriad of questions just kept
running through my mind!
Susan had to know what she was
dealing with and I owed it to her to let her know my role in all of it. In the
middle of letting her know (by this time she was close to tears) Mr Hunk called
my phone to reaffirm his wanting me to give him a call when I get home. Right
there and in front of the supposed woman of his dreams!
Women are so worried about being
alone or crossing the 30s line that they are settling for anyone or just being
constantly frustrated about their marital status. The time it takes for the
right and ready one to come should be channeled into self-improvement, career
or business advancement and financial independency in readiness for the right
and ready man rather than being frustrated or desperate about the situation.
These years of waiting can only help you understand how to love yourself and
enjoy your company in order to love someone and enjoy their company and there
is a certain level of maturity that comes with it!
Waiting time is not denial time.
It is time for self-awareness, deep reflections, self-improvements and
advancements! If you have been beat down in terms of your relationship
commitments, this is for you and remember you are not alone on this journey!
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