Monday, 22 August 2016

Thinking Out Loud: Single And Almost 30!

Osareti, Susan and I used to have long talks during lunch breaks about how time was moving fast and how we wanted to settle down before 30! I had been single for about 2 years, Susan had been dating for a few years. Osareti had been recently engaged and we were very excited and happy for her! Thank God one of us was off the shelf and out of stock!
It was one of those long work weeks where a TGIF was in order. Some of our colleagues had rallied round to make a hangout happen somewhere on the Island. Osareti lived far and Susan couldn’t make it. I lived close to the island so I decided I was going to stand in for our trio. I invited a neutral girlfriend- Binta to tag along. You know how we girls like to have one girlfriend to gist about the night with.

At about 1 am most of our colleagues who also lived on the mainland were ready to run home to my amazement and considering they shared cars it was difficult for some to leave and the others stay back. We exchanged our good byes but myself and my girlfriend (thank God invited her) decided we would stay a bit longer. Home was 15 minutes away!
We ordered a bottle of red wine and enjoyed the ambience and just watching people engage in different conversations and nightlife activities. It was pee time and you know how hard it is to separate women from the rest room. I had to wait my turn as there was traffic (as usual) in the rest room. Then a tall, slender, lady walks up to me and say ‘Hi, my brother says he likes you’. I give her this unsurprised but blank friendly look. I ask her if she’s his spokesman and suggest that he man up and do his talking by himself!
I return to my table and begin to download my ordeal to Binta who had waited almost forever for me to return in amusement.  Then we get interrupted by a hunk. Binta excuses us to have a conversation. Apparently someone’s sister had delivered the message. We chat for a bit about ourselves and what we do and then exchanged contacts. *Sounds like some typical night out for an average lady right……..*
You know there should be follow up when guy meets lady of interest! Yes Mr Hunk followed up for a date but I really didn’t have time and wasn’t quite interested in pursuing it any further than over the phone conversations. Months passed and Mr Hunk’s follow up began to dwindle and stopped after a while.
One weekend I get remembered again and decide I would go on a date with Mr Hunk. Grab some food and drinks, soft music, cool ambience and just acquaint each other a little bit more.  But alas! We end up at his boss’ birthday. No bigger than the living room. Family and co-workers.  Not what I had in mind but I went with the flow. After this I called it a night to his disappointment (as there was little bonding but oh well he had his chance)That was the last time we saw me. Work and other things had me occupied.
I just came out of a work strategy meeting some months after, went to my desk to resume work and lo and behold Mr Hunk is there standing right in front of me. Out of the blues! (How did he find me? Did he remember where I said I worked?  What was he doing in my office? Too many questions) He then says    ‘You! You are so hard to see! Call me when you get to the island’ I was completely surprised! After about an hour Susan comes to me requesting I accompany her go see her boyfriend who had stopped by the office to say hello (Like I said, we always had girl talks on moving forward in our relationships and settling down before our biological clocks stopped ticking. ) We were all going to have lunch as per another friend on the way to being taken off the shelf.
We strolled down the stairs, about 70 steps at the time with no elevator. Eating a proper lunch as a 9-5 worker was difficult. It was the same thing over and over again. As we approached the exit I received the utmost shock! Standing there and waiting for us was Mr Hunk! Mr Hunk was Susan’s Hunk! What was going on here? I didn’t know when I hit the brakes, did an about turn and went right back upstairs! Was I in a dream? We had spent so much time hoping for someone who was not ready. What were the odds that I would have met Susan’s hunk without her introduction? What if I had gone the extra mile with him during his follow up sessions?  Did he not know where she worked? Or did it not occur to him we were in the same building? A myriad of questions just kept running through my mind!
Susan had to know what she was dealing with and I owed it to her to let her know my role in all of it. In the middle of letting her know (by this time she was close to tears) Mr Hunk called my phone to reaffirm his wanting me to give him a call when I get home. Right there and in front of the supposed woman of his dreams!
Women are so worried about being alone or crossing the 30s line that they are settling for anyone or just being constantly frustrated about their marital status. The time it takes for the right and ready one to come should be channeled into self-improvement, career or business advancement and financial independency in readiness for the right and ready man rather than being frustrated or desperate about the situation. These years of waiting can only help you understand how to love yourself and enjoy your company in order to love someone and enjoy their company and there is a certain level of maturity that comes with it!
Waiting time is not denial time. It is time for self-awareness, deep reflections, self-improvements and advancements! If you have been beat down in terms of your relationship commitments, this is for you and remember you are not alone on this journey!




Note : This is a fictional mind of the writer

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