Real Talk : What men really want.

Understanding what men want has been a lifelong question that most women have found themselves asking over and over again be it within themselves, amongst family and friends or with the opposite sex- our darling men.

Over the years I have found that some things remain almost constant with men who seek a somewhat longer relationship than a night stand or a few weeks of playing around.

Firstly, and inevitably, physical appearance is one of the magnets that draw a man to a woman. Yes they say ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ but the truth is men are first moved by what they see- ‘how does she look?’ Does she have long hair or no hair? Does she have nice skin? Dress nice? Smell nice? Gap teeth? Full lips? Killer curves or no curves? A big behind or moderate sized twins? A fine smile? Bad breathe? Etc. The list is endless…..Whatever combination of physical qualities you possess as a woman you need to ensure you look your best in the most effortless manner possible. Men are not very excited about women who try too hard.

There’s nothing more appealing than a woman with self-confidence. Head straight, shoulders square with a walk that registers after she has left. There is a fine line between self-confidence and pride.  When I speak on this subject I speak of a woman who knows her stuff and is open to opinions of others whether they align with hers or not. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin and not intimidated by a fellow female of the same standing. Self-confidence in who she is and what she can contribute intellectually and in terms of value will always make a woman stand out and men can easily spot this.

A woman who understands and is wise enough to decipher when to be silent and when to speak up concerning matters that do not particularly sit well with her value system or relationship goals will find herself enjoying a more lasting relationship with a man. Nagging, shouting and talking down will always send a man in the opposite direction. And when women speak, words should be soft spoken and strategic to address the matter. Communicate not nag or give an epistle.

Boys Time. Yes, men like it when a woman understands that they need to constantly be in touch and catch up with the boys. This is not to say ‘oh Yeah anything with the boys goes’, No. But you need to allow a man be a man with his fellow men. Don’t be asking for time when he’s watching the game with his guys or blowing up his phone while he’s hanging with the boys. Put a leash on him and he’ll roam farther away from you.

A man with a dream needs a woman with a vision. A woman who supports her man, encourages him and lifts him up when he is down is a woman worth being with and having. As providers that men are, they need all the support they can get while they are on the grind and hustle. Nothing beats having someone on your side cheering for you, urging you and helping you to advance in life.

Real men want women who are independent. This is not an excuse to run away from responsibilities to the woman but nothing beats having a woman who has her own money no matter how little. She has something to bring to the table and is not just a financial sink. This also earns a man’s respect because it requires hard work, diligence and persistence to earn and make money. It also means a woman can contribute to matters and conversations that involve financial freedom and stability. So ladies, get busy!